Tuesday, September 23, 2014
Friday, September 19, 2014
Tuesday, September 16, 2014
Saturday, September 13, 2014
Thursday, September 11, 2014
Day 1 Juicing
Inspired from
Juice-fest-2014-30-days-juicing-Simple nourished living
I modified the ingredients and the quantity little bit.
Cucumber, Celery, Kale, Apple
Servings: 2
Cucumber -1/2
Kale - 2 leaves
Celery Stalks - 2
Apple - 1
Lime - 1/4
Ginger - 1tsp
Juice all the ingredients one by one, I was worried about the taste, but to my surprise it tasted good!
Will post the pictures soon!
I modified the ingredients and the quantity little bit.
Cucumber, Celery, Kale, Apple
Servings: 2
Cucumber -1/2
Kale - 2 leaves
Celery Stalks - 2
Apple - 1
Lime - 1/4
Ginger - 1tsp
Juice all the ingredients one by one, I was worried about the taste, but to my surprise it tasted good!
Will post the pictures soon!
Wednesday, August 27, 2014
Monday, August 11, 2014
Can I build my family?
Every passing day my feelings getting stronger that 'My family is not complete without children'. Every passing day I feel I am going away from having a complete family, being called as 'Mother' :-(
Second FET was a disaster despite having perfect embryos transfered. I have absolutely no words to describe my husband and my agony when we got call from the doctors office that it failed. We were speechless, had high hopes on this cycle. With all these failures, I am getting stronger (I used to be very fragile) every day, have so much patience now.
I am living my life as it comes. I don't like it, want to plan my life and live according to my terms.
My body want to call it quits, but my motherly love doesn't want to quit. I will probably give one more chance for my body, if it doesn't co-operate, then I may want to call off our trials for good.
However, I don't want to give up becoming a mother. To fulfil my desire of becoming a mother I have two options in front of me. Embryo adoption or Infant adoption. I am still weighing my options of what to choose. I put this idea in front of my husband and I didn't get a good positive reaction from him. Surprisingly, my parents and inlaws are supportive of this idea. I am always greatful to have such an understanding family. My next mission is to understand my husbands thoughts on adoption. I know I can't go alone, need him to be on-board on my decision.
I want to be able to make a decision and move forward with my life. I am a social person, I like to meet people. I am not able to attend baby showers, kid's birthday parties, or any parties for that matter, these parties keep reminding me that I am failure.
I want to end all this .. don't know how
Second FET was a disaster despite having perfect embryos transfered. I have absolutely no words to describe my husband and my agony when we got call from the doctors office that it failed. We were speechless, had high hopes on this cycle. With all these failures, I am getting stronger (I used to be very fragile) every day, have so much patience now.
I am living my life as it comes. I don't like it, want to plan my life and live according to my terms.
My body want to call it quits, but my motherly love doesn't want to quit. I will probably give one more chance for my body, if it doesn't co-operate, then I may want to call off our trials for good.
However, I don't want to give up becoming a mother. To fulfil my desire of becoming a mother I have two options in front of me. Embryo adoption or Infant adoption. I am still weighing my options of what to choose. I put this idea in front of my husband and I didn't get a good positive reaction from him. Surprisingly, my parents and inlaws are supportive of this idea. I am always greatful to have such an understanding family. My next mission is to understand my husbands thoughts on adoption. I know I can't go alone, need him to be on-board on my decision.
I want to be able to make a decision and move forward with my life. I am a social person, I like to meet people. I am not able to attend baby showers, kid's birthday parties, or any parties for that matter, these parties keep reminding me that I am failure.
I want to end all this .. don't know how
Monday, April 28, 2014
Should I be happy or sad?
Should I be happy or feel sad? In my last post I opened up about infertility and was positive I will soon enjoy motherhood. I came one step closer and got good news that I became pregnant. Before I could digest the good news miscarried at 5 weeks.
Is this my fate? What is my destiny? Will I ever enjoy motherhood? Should I feel sad that I lost my baby in 5 weeks or happy that I was able to get preggo(one step closer) or happy that I did not give birth to a baby with defects. I took it positively that I was able to prove myself that I could become preggo. Without myself knowing, deep down in my heart I am hurt. My emotional volcano erupted one fine day when I had to spend one whole day with my preggo friend. My DH energy levels also dropped down end of that day. I could feel that he is getting restless to enjoy fatherhood. I don't have anything against to-be parents, I pray everyday that her pregnancy should be uneventful.
On top of all this, wherever I go I see preggo woman. I feel sad thinking about my own destiny. Is it human psychology to feel the way I am feeling or am I wicked person?
I feel much better after writing this post
5/11- I hosted baby shower for my friend and was very excited and happy, may be it was just that day!! All in all it was fun hosting the surprise party, seeing surprised and happy look on her face made me much happier
Cheers
G
Is this my fate? What is my destiny? Will I ever enjoy motherhood? Should I feel sad that I lost my baby in 5 weeks or happy that I was able to get preggo(one step closer) or happy that I did not give birth to a baby with defects. I took it positively that I was able to prove myself that I could become preggo. Without myself knowing, deep down in my heart I am hurt. My emotional volcano erupted one fine day when I had to spend one whole day with my preggo friend. My DH energy levels also dropped down end of that day. I could feel that he is getting restless to enjoy fatherhood. I don't have anything against to-be parents, I pray everyday that her pregnancy should be uneventful.
On top of all this, wherever I go I see preggo woman. I feel sad thinking about my own destiny. Is it human psychology to feel the way I am feeling or am I wicked person?
I feel much better after writing this post
5/11- I hosted baby shower for my friend and was very excited and happy, may be it was just that day!! All in all it was fun hosting the surprise party, seeing surprised and happy look on her face made me much happier
Cheers
G
Thursday, January 2, 2014
Happy 2014
Wish you a healthy, wealthy, and prosperous happy new year!
Been couple of years I wrote something on my blog and I doubt if anyone is following it.
2013 wasn't all that great and not bad either. For me personally, it was all about waiting for new cycle to start, lift hopes up it will happen this cycle and feeling bad on failed TTC cycle and it continued on and on. I haven't given up hope yet but I guess I am slowly coming to the terms of it. I see tiny light at the end of the tunnel, hope it gets closer soon. If not soon, I may give up on it. Praying everyday for that to happen. Despite all this, DH has been very supportive through this journey.
Shooing that thought away its all good professionally. I am working with the same company, and same group for long time now. It will be close to four years. I did not think I would stay that long but hey, I am lucky to work with good group here. We may not getogether often like I used to in my previous job but people are warm, they give respect and most importantly they don't step in my personal life.
May be people in my boat can understand better, I am not eager to make new friends, keep contact with old friends merely because I failed TTC. I don't accept it in front of my DH but it definitely took toll on me despite having supportive family. I have become very sensitive on this issue, I don't have the emotional strength to talk it out with others. The moment I think about it tears start rolling.
Cheers,
G
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