Should I be happy or feel sad? In my last post I opened up about infertility and was positive I will soon enjoy motherhood. I came one step closer and got good news that I became pregnant. Before I could digest the good news miscarried at 5 weeks.
Is this my fate? What is my destiny? Will I ever enjoy motherhood? Should I feel sad that I lost my baby in 5 weeks or happy that I was able to get preggo(one step closer) or happy that I did not give birth to a baby with defects. I took it positively that I was able to prove myself that I could become preggo. Without myself knowing, deep down in my heart I am hurt. My emotional volcano erupted one fine day when I had to spend one whole day with my preggo friend. My DH energy levels also dropped down end of that day. I could feel that he is getting restless to enjoy fatherhood. I don't have anything against to-be parents, I pray everyday that her pregnancy should be uneventful.
On top of all this, wherever I go I see preggo woman. I feel sad thinking about my own destiny. Is it human psychology to feel the way I am feeling or am I wicked person?
I feel much better after writing this post
5/11- I hosted baby shower for my friend and was very excited and happy, may be it was just that day!! All in all it was fun hosting the surprise party, seeing surprised and happy look on her face made me much happier
Cheers
G
Is this my fate? What is my destiny? Will I ever enjoy motherhood? Should I feel sad that I lost my baby in 5 weeks or happy that I was able to get preggo(one step closer) or happy that I did not give birth to a baby with defects. I took it positively that I was able to prove myself that I could become preggo. Without myself knowing, deep down in my heart I am hurt. My emotional volcano erupted one fine day when I had to spend one whole day with my preggo friend. My DH energy levels also dropped down end of that day. I could feel that he is getting restless to enjoy fatherhood. I don't have anything against to-be parents, I pray everyday that her pregnancy should be uneventful.
On top of all this, wherever I go I see preggo woman. I feel sad thinking about my own destiny. Is it human psychology to feel the way I am feeling or am I wicked person?
I feel much better after writing this post
5/11- I hosted baby shower for my friend and was very excited and happy, may be it was just that day!! All in all it was fun hosting the surprise party, seeing surprised and happy look on her face made me much happier
Cheers
G
