I am very happy the way Varalakshmi devi turned out this year. I will fix to this year's format for ever. Pictures below from the past couple of years.
2014
2013
2012
2011
2014
2013
2012
Wednesday, August 27, 2014
Monday, August 11, 2014
Can I build my family?
Every passing day my feelings getting stronger that 'My family is not complete without children'. Every passing day I feel I am going away from having a complete family, being called as 'Mother' :-(
Second FET was a disaster despite having perfect embryos transfered. I have absolutely no words to describe my husband and my agony when we got call from the doctors office that it failed. We were speechless, had high hopes on this cycle. With all these failures, I am getting stronger (I used to be very fragile) every day, have so much patience now.
I am living my life as it comes. I don't like it, want to plan my life and live according to my terms.
My body want to call it quits, but my motherly love doesn't want to quit. I will probably give one more chance for my body, if it doesn't co-operate, then I may want to call off our trials for good.
However, I don't want to give up becoming a mother. To fulfil my desire of becoming a mother I have two options in front of me. Embryo adoption or Infant adoption. I am still weighing my options of what to choose. I put this idea in front of my husband and I didn't get a good positive reaction from him. Surprisingly, my parents and inlaws are supportive of this idea. I am always greatful to have such an understanding family. My next mission is to understand my husbands thoughts on adoption. I know I can't go alone, need him to be on-board on my decision.
I want to be able to make a decision and move forward with my life. I am a social person, I like to meet people. I am not able to attend baby showers, kid's birthday parties, or any parties for that matter, these parties keep reminding me that I am failure.
I want to end all this .. don't know how
Second FET was a disaster despite having perfect embryos transfered. I have absolutely no words to describe my husband and my agony when we got call from the doctors office that it failed. We were speechless, had high hopes on this cycle. With all these failures, I am getting stronger (I used to be very fragile) every day, have so much patience now.
I am living my life as it comes. I don't like it, want to plan my life and live according to my terms.
My body want to call it quits, but my motherly love doesn't want to quit. I will probably give one more chance for my body, if it doesn't co-operate, then I may want to call off our trials for good.
However, I don't want to give up becoming a mother. To fulfil my desire of becoming a mother I have two options in front of me. Embryo adoption or Infant adoption. I am still weighing my options of what to choose. I put this idea in front of my husband and I didn't get a good positive reaction from him. Surprisingly, my parents and inlaws are supportive of this idea. I am always greatful to have such an understanding family. My next mission is to understand my husbands thoughts on adoption. I know I can't go alone, need him to be on-board on my decision.
I want to be able to make a decision and move forward with my life. I am a social person, I like to meet people. I am not able to attend baby showers, kid's birthday parties, or any parties for that matter, these parties keep reminding me that I am failure.
I want to end all this .. don't know how
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